Too many kids in this bed!

There's too many kids in this tub.

There's too many elbows to scrub.

I just washed a behind that I'm sure wasn't mine,

There's too many kids in this tub!

Shel Silverstein

If you take that poem and substitute bed for tub and elbows to scrub for "kids to in my bed who fling their legs about and I can't get a cotton pickin' inch of space in which to turn", you've got a clear idea of our morning.

The final kid to come to our room was Nathan at 6:15 a.m. 6:15! I know some of you have already worked out for an hour, had a cup of coffee, and are taking a nap by 6:15 but this girl is still sleeping. Aubrey came in around 5:30 and it seems as though Dane was there all night. How did this happen? Where did we go wrong?? Who doused our bed in kiddy sleepy juices that pulls them and holds them tight?

Our kids have never really slept in bed with us. No judgment, just not our thing. No one sleeps well and I am an unpleasant person without sleep. Unpleasant Sara equals Greg running for the hills. Greg running for the hills equals single motherhood and I know that must be worse than sleep deprivation. So sleep I must get.

A few months back Dane started coming to our bed when he woke up in the morning. You know, at 6:30 or 7. He's snuggle with us for a while, hold our hands, and act precious. Greg and I both loved this time with him. So soft and snuggly and sweet.

Then Nathan started becoming more and more afraid of the dark, things in his room, shadows, you name it. He wakes up with nightmares and can't fall back asleep. "Mommy, can you snuggle me until I'm not scared?" This can happen at any hour of the night. Enter Nathan, snuggling in bed at night until he can fall back asleep. So soft and sweet and snuggly.

Then Aubrey heard about all this middle of the night revelry and she was like, "WHOA, what have I been missing?? Out of bed and lounging with Mom and Dad? How can a girl pass this up?" Then she willed herself to start waking up around 5 a.m. and joining us, just for the delight of it all.

AND THEN Dane started coming into snuggle earlier. And earlier. Until it seems as though he has been coming in at 3 a.m. the past few days. Because I'm massively pregnant I find myself seeing his face at the side of my bed, nummy in mouth and blanket in hand, and rather than lug myself into a sitting position I just let him crawl over me into the middle. Short term gain for long term problems is such a great parenting strategy.

Consequently, we have had all three kids in bed with us more than once this last week. We have a king size bed but let me tell you, they are not made for 5 1/2 people (I figure Mojo gets at least half a person's worth of credit now that he/she is making me the size of a yacht). I ended up on the edge of my bed this morning, not really snuggling Nathan but holding on for dear life as my whole booty was off the edge of the bed and my Mojo belly was the only thing keeping me from flopping to the ground. I gave up and went and slept in Nathan's bed.

Sad to say, if you are Aubrey, Nathan, or Dane, you are in for a radically different night. One that includes your own bed for hours at a time. Take that my little pretties! And IF you wake up with nightmares and IF you need to hold my hand to sleep and IF you think Mom and Dad are awesome at 5 a.m. I have news for you: I might still take you to bed. HAHA, take that!!!