Daneisms, part 2

In the car today, getting lunch:

"Mom, you know that picture of me where I'm on top of a mountain and I'm making a face like this?" (Imagine a scrunched up nose, squinty eyes, and a cheesy grin.)

(I have no idea what he is talking about.)

"Yeah Dane, I think I know the picture you are talking about."

"Don't you think I look like a guinea pig?"



Later that same day....

Dane runs out, in the middle of the day, in his pajamas.

"Dane, why do you have your jammies on?"

SIDE NOTE: I am tired of my kids changing their clothes multiple times a day because everything ends up dirty and I end up averaging three outfits per kid to wash each day. So no, I was not over reacting. SIDE NOTE ENDED

"Because they are so warm and snuggly."

"Dane, I want you to go and put your clothes back on, you can wear those to bed tonight."

"BUT MY CLOTHES AREN'T AS SNUGGLY ON MY RUMPUS!!"

Daneisms

Dane is an accidental comedian. He truly does say the darndest things.

Yesterday Dane had the stomach flu and spent all day nauseated and throwing up.

Today he was back to himself, running around, playing, and being a tad whiny.

For dinner I made Shepherd's Pie. My kids HATE Shepherd's Pie but it is Greg's favorite and sometimes the four small dictators don't rule the whole universe.

Dane sat in front of it, looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, "Mommy, I feel like throwing up."

"Dane, do you really feel like throwing up or do you just not want to eat dinner?"

"NO MOMMY, I do feel like throwing up! I see this dinner and it makes me throw up!"

The gratitude is overwhelming.

Nathan might accidentally smoke a cigarette

A while back I was out with the kids and we saw someone smoking. Nathan (of course it would be Nathan) wanted to know what she was doing. I grabbed hold of this teaching moment and explained to the kids about how it was a habit that made you feel good at first but hurt your lungs, heart, mouth, etc., was hard to quit, smelled bad, wasn't something to ever try, blah, blah, blah, blah. I felt like the Charlie Brown mom who is only ever a garbled voice in the background. Still I left the situation with a deep feeling of satisfaction. Lesson imparted, children will never try cigarettes.

This is what Aubrey, my first born rule follower, took from the lecture: Cigarettes bad. Don't do them 'cause Mom said so.

Nathan heard something different.

A few weeks later after all the kids were tucked in for the night, we heard Nathan calling for us in a panicky, sobbing voice. We rushed in to soothe him and he wailed, "I AM SO SCARED FOR ALL THE SMOKING PEOPLE!!" Bewildered, we asked him what he meant. "What if they don't know they are hurting their lungs! What if they don't know they can't quit! WHAT IF SOMEONE FORCES ME TO SMOKE CIGARETTES AND IT HURTS MY LUNGS AND I DIE?!?!?!?"

After assuring Nathan that no one could ever force him to smoke we endured another barrage of questions. Why do people smoke if they know it's bad for them? Do they know they could die? Why was the man on Parent Trap smoking? (I didn't even think he was watching that movie!) Why do they make cigarettes if they are bad for you? Short of having a discussion on free agency, peer pressure, economics, and changing health care attitudes, we were rather at a loss.

I ended up back peddling on half my earlier lecture. Yes, smoking is bad but people who smoke are not bad people. Quitting smoking is hard but people do it all the time and if someone forces you to smoke Nathan, I'm sure you could quit. No, you do not drop dead instantly of a heart attack if you one day smoke one cigarette. I nearly offered to go buy him a pack and smoke it all together, just so he could stop thinking that the mere sight of one was going to give him lung disease and death.

He seems to have recovered from the initial cigarette horror but every single time we see a cigarette butt on the ground he says, "Look Mom, it's one of those sickness sticks."

I can't imagine what he'll do when he gets the birds and the bees talk.

More blog than you can handle

I have wanted to post for some time but the longer the absence, the greater the pressure. What should my tone be? Witty, contrite, or flippant? Do I apologize to my ten readers for my absence (implying that it has been a hardship for them) or ignore the gap all together? Pictures or no pictures? Update or humorous antecdote? After mulling these questions over in my head I would walk away and figure I'd do it another day. Understand, I was probably mulling these things over while folding clothes, teaching math, and cooking dinner. At the same time. Which of course is an entire other reason this blog has been neglected.

Yet, here I am, and I figured an update is what came most naturally. And some photos, courtesy of my mom. I have hundreds of pictures trapped on my own photo card, stuck there until I get myself another cord to hook up to my computer. Thanks Mom!

GREG: Coaching kindergarten Upward basketball, playing on his own rec basketball league for the 13th year in a row (fatherhood, injuries, and other commitments have left his team with THE IRON FIVE more than once this year), and rocking fatherhood and husbandhood. Why, just tonight, I called him in a state of panic, demanding chai tea and carbs, lest I lose my mind. He is an obliging man, and smart one, and keeps this family happy, warm, and fed.

Sara: I am home schooling. And raising four kids. And managing a house. And running kids to gymnastics, art, cheer, piano, and basketball. I try to work out in the mornings. I like to read books. I am fearfully addicted to Words With Friends. We host a care group. We go to church. I would like to do a Women's Bible Study, write more, work out more, read more, sit more, go on dates with my husband more, sleep more, and solve world peace. Most of the time I am satisfied to know that what I do is important, fulfilling, and normally enjoyable. For exceptions see above reference to chai tea and carbs.

Aubrey: Our 7 1/2 year old spent her Christmas holiday sick with mono. Four weeks later she has finally turned the corner and can make it through the day without a nap. She loves Upward Cheer but says she will return to basketball next year. (You can hear Greg breathe a sigh of relief from where you are.) She is whizzing through her piano lessons and, while on a brief hiatus during cheer, thoroughly loving a home school art class. She just recently moved out of her brothers' room and in with Johanna. I am already so in love with that sister relationship, it is beautiful to watch. She is our writer, creator, nurturer, pleaser, and hard worker. An oldest girl child, I understand nearly every move she makes.

Nathan: Our 5 1/2 year old son seems to have an increasing level of energy as the years go by. He is our fearless gymnast and would love to be taking more lessons if time, money, and energy would allow it. He is on his daddy's basketball team and while enjoying it, still is working on the finer points of play (which basket is his, what direction he should run). He is a thinker and asks the most mind stumping questions. Where does lightening go after it hits the ground? Why is the South Pole colder than the North Pole? How are snow and hail formed? Why are the different? What did people do with a kid like him without the internet?!? He is excelling at math, tolerates reading, and loves to play games. He is energetic, enthusiastic, inquisitive, joyful, and imaginative.

Dane: Our Danish Doodle turned four this past Saturday and while every day with a child is a joy, I can't say as we were sad to see three go. Dane excelled at being three, what with its illogical outbursts, selective hearing, and general contrariness. Greg and I also say that Dane is our most polarized child. He is sensitive, thoughtful, an excellent sharer without ever being asked, physically affectionate, hilarious, and endearing. He can also be, well, not so sweet and I find myself saying everyday, "DANE, do you like it when I lose my patience?!?" He loves any kind of airplane, legos, transformers, baking with his mama, giving snuggles, and wearing his Superman pajamas. He was also finally cleared to no longer wear a leg brace at night so that was welcomed news. (He was born with a club foot for those who are wondering.)

Johanna: Our baby has turned into a toddler right before our eyes. She is an excellent little talker (she told me today, "Mama, I bonk head"), adores her siblings, loves to be read to, will eat anything, likes to sit on the counter with me and pour ingredients when I bake, watch Elmo clips on YouTube, and hates to be excluded from anything. Ever since she gave up her morning nap school has been moved to the afternoon while she sleeps. She likes to be an active school participant (LOOK, I dumped the markers! Look, I stole Aubrey's textbook! WAAHH, pay attention to me!!!) and we are all happier doing school while she sleeps. She sports a flowing mullet and remains our sweet and gentle baby girl.

IS ANYONE STILL READING?!?

I hope to be back in blogging business. I miss the writing outlet and need to hone my skills if I'm to make millions writing the next American classic.

Happy Snow Day to all!