Tuesday, June 7, 2011

And it begins...


I called my mom this afternoon, irritated with all my kids. They were all being annoying. Johanna whining and begging at my feet, Dane trying to comb my hair with his child size broom, and Nathan head butting me in the rear OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. And Aubrey. She had put on her "self righteous I know everything panties" and couldn't stop critiquing and criticizing everyone.


I relayed a specific conversation I had with little miss Queen of the Whole World to my mother. My mom thought it was so funny that she emailed it out to the family. I am attaching her version of the conversation (which is verbatim) because I certainly could do no better.

And so begins the era in which my children think I'm lame for the next twenty years.

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A little background. Nathan got a pair of roller skates for his birthday yesterday and has been putting them on and taking them off several million times a day. Well, he puts them on and Sara has to take them off as he can't maneuver that feat. Also, Aubrey "is showing glimmers of entering that really obnoxious age". So here is a conversation that took place about an hour ago while Sara was removing Nathan's roller skates:


Aubrey: Mom, what are you doing?

Sara: Taking Nathan's roller skates off.

Aubrey (in a condescending disgusted voice): Why would you do that?

Sara (slightly irritated): Because he wants me too.

Aubrey (sanctimoniously): Well, he'll never get better if you keep taking his skates off.

Sara: (Gives Aubrey the stink eye and starts taking the other skate off)

Aubrey: What are you doing now?

Sara (dripping with sarcasm): I'm hunting Water Buffalo.

Aubrey (quite crankily): Mom, you know I hate it when you tease me.

Sara (crankier than Aubrey): WELL AUBREY, YOU CAN SEE WHAT I'M DOING!!!!

Aubrey (in a calm, rational voice): Why are you speaking harshly to me?

7 comments:

tara said...

With the power of intellectual language and a bit (lot??!) of dramatic flair, you and your mom manage to make any situation/conversation funny. It's a gift...and thanks for sharing it with us. :-)

Angela said...

still laughing :)

Angela said...

How about if we trade for a while? I'll trade condesending Aubrey for irrational Gracie who was set off into a major tizzy tonight because she got lotion on her panties. sigh.

Jules said...

Sara, I'm sorry for stealing your thunder as I'm sure you would have done the story more justice but even reading my version again made me laugh out loud. I seriously couldn't suppress a snort while you were telling me about it. And yes, it will get worse, FAR worse before it gets better. You will become dumber by the day while Aubrey's intelligence sky rockets.

Jenny said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jenny said...

Oh great...is this what I have to look forward to?!

Erin said...

Hahaha. I'm not laughing at your expense, just the things that come out of little kids mouthes. That is a great story....and sort of makes me feel a little glad I don't have girls. Although, Cole has reached that get into EVERYTHING and REALLY whiney stage and I may loose my mind. We can go crazy together, k? :)