Just another Sunday

Yesterday we went to the evening service of church. It is a smaller service with a fraction of the kids who attend the early morning services.

When we check our kids into their Sunday school classes they are assigned a bracelet with a number and we have one that matches. If something happens during church their number flashes up on a big screen and it means your kid needs you pronto. Our friends on the inside call it church bingo. The childcare workers try hard to only call parents out when your kid truly does need you. You know, pronto.

Our kids were about 40% of the children checked in last night. We rarely are called out. You know, cause our kids never fuss or make messes or cause problems. An attitude which we obviously needing humbling from.

My booty had barely warmed the seat when up comes the first number. I knew instantly it was one of ours. Nathan. I head to his class to find him crying miserably while his kind teacher, and family friend Brad, consoled him. Accident. Pee AND poop. Dear Lord.

I take him to the van. I don't even carry extra clothes for him anymore because he is potty trained. And what will I do with the poop. That's a whole other story of course about being prepared and kids do whatever the heck they want even when you think you are in charge. But I digress.

I was kind and patient to my poor crying son. I also had nothing for him to wear. He was desperate to return because the kids were going to play outside. I ended up dressing him in no underwear (Ang, it was even on purpose!) and a pair of Dane's sweats. They were little red knickers on him and he looked ridiculous. Who cares though? Brad the teacher swore they wouldn't openly mock him and Nathan didn't care so back he goes.

As I'm leaving to head back to service I see Greg approach with Dane. Who is wearing a dress shirt and diaper and that's it. "Hon, do you have any extra pants for Dane?" Seems Dane had exploded poop all over his clothes and was now half naked. Greg had won church bingo just moments after I left. Of course, I did have pants for Dane but they were now on Nathan. Since Nathan was naked underneath he got to keep the pants. Dane ran around in the cold fall evening, pants less and shoe less. Friend and teacher Brad recommended we squirt a fake tear on his cheek, put he and Nathan together for a photo, and the church could use it as an advertisement for helping the down and out families of Valley Real Life.

Greg and I looked at each other and called it a day. We went home about 35 minutes into church. It felt sacrilege but pee and poop beat out God for the evening. And remember, never ever ever leave your house without three changes of clothes per person, seven diapers and pull-ups, and 1000 wipes. Even if you don't have kids.