(My paternal grandmother, Annelies, date and age unknown)I've been itching for a blogging excuse to use this photo. Isn't she beautiful? She is obviously dressed up for an occasion and I have wondered what it was. A party? A dance? Maybe a date? She looks so happy and carefree.
I feel like I've had a less than carefree week. Lots of adult stuff and not much time to process it. Sometimes it's hard not to look at myself and wonder, when did I grow up?? It sneaks up on you. One day you're 18 and the next day you still feel 18 but you're actually 30. (Almost anyways.)
I don't think 30 is old. It's just that is seemed to come on the heals of 21, with all the other years missing in between. I understand why people in their 80s will say that they don't feel 80. It's because they DON'T. Sometime after leaving adolescence the years swept past and suddenly they are wearing pink polyester pants and an embroidered sweatshirt and probably thinking, "I hate polyester! And I don't even like birds, let alone ones embroidered on my collar!" It just happens.
I don't want to be 18 anymore. I'm satisfied with my life and where it has taken me. All the things I used to dream about like a husband and kids, have come true. Not very many people say they are living their dream but I actually am. I recognize how special that is. It's just that I'm still supposed to be too young for these things, right? Having to act tough when you want to curl up and cry is still a part of this whole adult gig that I haven't mastered. Adulthood I have decided isn't anything you learn or grow into or master. It is thrust upon you and you just do it. Even when the kid in you is yelling that you need a nap and your own mother.
Such ramblings. All this to say that sometimes being an adult is tough work. And no, this post has little to do with the picture. But it was still fun too see, huh?
I feel like I've had a less than carefree week. Lots of adult stuff and not much time to process it. Sometimes it's hard not to look at myself and wonder, when did I grow up?? It sneaks up on you. One day you're 18 and the next day you still feel 18 but you're actually 30. (Almost anyways.)
I don't think 30 is old. It's just that is seemed to come on the heals of 21, with all the other years missing in between. I understand why people in their 80s will say that they don't feel 80. It's because they DON'T. Sometime after leaving adolescence the years swept past and suddenly they are wearing pink polyester pants and an embroidered sweatshirt and probably thinking, "I hate polyester! And I don't even like birds, let alone ones embroidered on my collar!" It just happens.
I don't want to be 18 anymore. I'm satisfied with my life and where it has taken me. All the things I used to dream about like a husband and kids, have come true. Not very many people say they are living their dream but I actually am. I recognize how special that is. It's just that I'm still supposed to be too young for these things, right? Having to act tough when you want to curl up and cry is still a part of this whole adult gig that I haven't mastered. Adulthood I have decided isn't anything you learn or grow into or master. It is thrust upon you and you just do it. Even when the kid in you is yelling that you need a nap and your own mother.
Such ramblings. All this to say that sometimes being an adult is tough work. And no, this post has little to do with the picture. But it was still fun too see, huh?
9 comments:
Sara, everything you said is so right on. And it is exactly how I have been feeling. I was just saying to a coworker how I'm creeping up on 30 but I still feel like I should be 20. Where have these years gone and at what point did I grow up enough to be in charge of another human.
And I couldn't agree more about the inner child wanting to come out and just curl up on the couch sometimes or just do what I want. Cry, nap...whatever it may be.
Everyone else around me is getting older...but not me. Right?
p.s. KayLynn looks EXACTLY like Annelies...it's almost spooky! Yes, she looks beautiful in that picture.
p.s.s. Your paragraph about polyester was hilarious. If I ever wear embroidered sweaters, please kick my butt and then make me take it off.
It's like my dad's shirt says
"You don't stop playing because you grow up. You grow up because you stop playing."
Good thing I play softball. I feel like a kid running around a dirt field chasing a ball. I skinned my knee even. Grownups don't skin their knees chasing balls around.
You should find something you loved to do as a kid and do it as often as possible.
I am turning 35 this year and wonder were the time has gone. Sometime between 30 and now. I started getting grey hairs in my eye brows. Come on.... why did my mother never tell me that this was coming!
But, this is the only thing I can think about to complain about. I too am living the dream that I spent my childhood thinking about.
I love the picture!
Sara, the picture of Grandma was taken on "Banack Days", kind of like a pioneer day where they'd dress up like the old west kind of.
And isn't it funny that Jenny thinks KayLynn looks exactly like Grandma Annelies as that is what my dad has ALWAYS maintained yet she is the ONLY one of my daughters who others have said looks just like me.
I personally think it's YOU who looks exactly like her, you sure have her eyes anyway and your face shape is identical. She surely is beautiful.
At 50 I still am a bit surprised to see that wrinkled face looking back at me from the mirror when I KNOW I can't be a year over 25. Who cares though, I love my age, my life and everything that has come with it. I feel the same as I did in H.S. (except I HOPE I have more sense, I at least have not tried to steal a plane lately) and am healthy so I figure I'm only half done. Things can get hard and terribly upsetting at times but they all make you who you are.
By the way, I think that Banack Days picture was taken around 1965 or 1966 so yes indeed, Grandma really is around 32 even though she looks 14. Of course we all remember she got carded in Las Vegas when she was 45. I'm not sure which is more ironic, the fact that she was 45 or the fact that she was in Las Vegas as I can only picture sweet grandma in church or in the living room with a grandbaby on her lap.
Hehe, and I was telling David earlier when we were reading this post that you, Sara, look just like Grandma in that picture. I guess that means, shockingly, that we must look a little alike...
Your Grandma is beautiful and I do see KayLynn in her but honestly when I first saw it I saw SARA! :)
Cool post. I agree, I have TWO kids in "school" what the heck! :)
Really? I see Hannah.
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