When Mama Ain't Happy...

...well, you know how the rest of it goes.

The word for the week has been WHINE. Did you know that constant whining can drive grown women to tears? Okay, let's cut the generalities. It can, and has, made me cry.

There has been nary a moment this week when someone hasn't been whining. Fighting, squabbling, snotty noses, bickering, fit throwing, tantrums. I have been so grumpy. Dinner is a chore I have barely been able to stomach. Tuesday I just didn't.

And speaking of chores. Can I just say that my life this week has been straight from "Groundhog's Day?" This is what Dane does. He touches something, dumps it, moves on. I follow behind, pick it up, move on. He redumps it. I reclean it. Repeat one million times. What if someone came to your office everyday and undid everything you did the day before? Trust me, at some point the futility of your job would get the better of you.

Everyone has colds. Everyone has snot. Nathan has constant snot on his cheek and arm and has perfected a hysterical screech of, "I NEED A TISSUE!" Dane just lets it run straight into his mouth. Then Nathan screams that DANE NEEDS A TISSUE!! And I just scream because if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Aubrey hates VBS this week, another fun activity to battle. You know, since she has to go to preschool in the same place in four weeks. Sweet.

I AM SPENT. Greg sent me on my way for an hour this week while he took over the house. I sat in the parking lot outside of Blockbuster for 30 minutes reading a book. I tried to rent a movie only to be told that we still have "The Great Mouse Detective" from 3 months ago. Which I haven't seen in forever and am sure returned. So I went and bought Dove chocolate instead. Then read more of my book from the car in our driveway and called Greg from the driveway to make sure our kids were in bed before I came inside.

Go ahead. Read back on some of my recent posts where I weep for joy over the divine holiness of motherhood and family. It's still true. It's just that this week I think I'm in purgatory.

Firemen (and woman)

Last week my friend Megan and I took our kids to visit the local fire station. While they weren't enraptured by the sewing room, sitting in the truck was a hit. (That is, once we had coaxed all the kids in!) After the tour Nathan announced that he wanted to be a fireman. He asked Aubrey if she wanted to be a fireman too and she said, "No, I want to be a mommy." I gave her extra dessert that night.






In unrelated news, Greg spent the evening playing pirates and monkeys with the kids. This involves evil bands of pirates and monkeys attacking them while Nathan flings spiderweb at them and Greg, Aubrey, and Dane beat them with nerf balls and dart guns. Inexplicably, Nathan will occasionally turn one of the moneys into a "tiny little beebee monkey" that we are given and instructed to keep in our pocket. I have two sleeping peacefully in my pockets as we speak. (Except we aren't.)

Good night.

Perfectionism's evil cousin

As most of you know, I am an oldest child. After getting my hands on "The Birth Order Book" by Kevin Leman (RECOMMEND) I am secure in the fact that I scream oldest child. One of the hallmarks of us first kiddos is perfectionism. Or frustrated perfectionism. Or, I'm a perfectionist but don't know it so I slip into anti-perfectionism. Okay, it makes sense if you read the book. Anyways...

As I was reading the book I remember thinking, I don't think I am a perfectionist. I think I have reasonable expectations of myself. That is until I got to the part that said, and I quote, "You won't try new things because if you can't be perfect at it the first time why bother and we mean you Sara, like that one time you tried to hit golf balls at the driving range with Greg and it nearly destroyed your marriage."

This is my least favorite personal quality. It's true. If I don't think something will come easily to me or that it might be really really really hard then I don't even try. What's the point in doing something if you have to be an amateur?? (Please note sarcasm.) This prevents me from trying new things because I hate the learning curve. I don't like being on the curve, I want to set the curve.

Which is how I've been feeling about this new camera idea. I really do want one. A nice one. But I won't know how to use it at first. And I'll take bad pictures. And the terms will be new. And the lighting will be wrong. And it'll be hard for a while and nobody will ask me to photograph their wedding.

I'm turning over a new leaf though and am starting with this camera. And now here's my question for you. What characteristic about yourself don't you like and have you ever actively tried to change it? Let's have another fun discussion!

p.s. If you must know, Greg is not like this. He enjoys the journey and is rarely frustrated with the process. He's learning the guitar and his attitude and work ethic is inspiring. His example is my motivation.

p.p.s. Apparently getting someone to redo your blog takes years. At least the people I know.

Too little to be big

"The only thing that will make me feel better is if you stay and watch me."

This is what Aubrey told me, sitting on my lap, between ragged tears, about going to Vacation Bible School (VBS) tomorrow. Get it? She doesn't want to go.

VBS is being held at the church where she'll be going to preschool in a few weeks. It's five days, three hours each day. Her VBS class is being taught by her actual preschool teacher. There will be kids in her class that will go to preschool with her. Get it? I think VBS is a good idea.

We have been talking about going for a while and she has been okay with the idea. Ambivalent, but fine. Tonight was different though. She is going tomorrow and this almost five year old knows that tomorrow means. It means soon. One big sleep and off we go.

"Will you come back for me?"

Is she trying to kill me?

She is Nervous with a capital N. There will be a lot of new faces and Aubrey isn't into new faces. There will be too many things she won't be familiar with and unfamiliar makes her quiet and, well, more quiet. Tonight she seemed so little and so sad and I was thinking, it's just VBS, right? Why does she have to go? Or go to preschool? Or school? Or spend the night or go to camp or visit Grandma and Grandpa without me or go to college???

I know from myself, and from her, that doing scary things, facing them, CONQUERING THEM, and getting through them is good for you. It builds confidence. It forces you to meet people and make friends. It paves the way for one day moving out and not having to live in your parents' basement until you're 45.

But, it's one thing for me to be nervous. I'm big enough to take it. I know how to find a way out of things. I look other adults in the eye. I can hop in my car and run away if I want to. But Aubrey? She is still getting coached on knowing her own address, isn't 3 1/2 feet tall, is afraid of most adults, and is being sent to VBS against her will. Somehow her nerves are scarier and way more... nervouser. (You know, since that's a word.)

Me? I'm praying she doesn't give me the brave face tomorrow. Huge eyes, not blinking so the tears won't fall, big false smile, flushed cheeks, high little voice, pretend bravado. It is 100 times worse than a meltdown and this mommy isn't sure she's up to the task.

Then again, if Aubrey can find the courage to tackle VBS than I can find the courage to not bawl my eyes out as she squares those little shoulders and marches into her class.

Parenting is not for wimps.

A walk down memory lane

In the absence of an any new pictures I thought you might enjoy a few blasts from the past.

Aubrey (3 1/2), Dane (2 months), and Nathan (21 months). Nathan flipping a gang sign.
Dane, a.k.a. Mr. Potato head, on the day he was born
Aubrey, rocking her inner Chanel (2 1/2).
Nathan likes to move it move it at 7 1/2 months.

Don't hate me because my kids are beautiful

Dancing and photos and food, oh my!

This could have been an epic, philosophical post but I had to watch the finale of "So You Think You Can Dance." It didn't disappoint. If you don't watch then you are crazy. It's always been a summer show but this year they are starting it again in the fall. September 2 for you crazies out there is the day to get on board.

I still don't have a camera. It might be a sin to have small children and no working camera. Do children actually grow if it's not documented on film (or digital memory)? I've decided that I'd like a fancy SLR. I'm diving in. Someone recommended a Canon Rebel as a place to start. Anyone else have an opinion? I have been wanting to learn about photography and I'm just going to force myself into it. Now I'm stuck in indecision land. What do I get? If I'm only going to get one extra lens, what should it be? What the heck is an F stop? How do I get that cool blurry background on photos? I think I want a photo editing program. What one should I get? Will I ever have time to learn how to use all these things? While I ponder all these questions I resort to doing nothing. FYI, doing nothing is rather unproductive.


I am concluding with a recipe that will change your life. Melissa, I got the recipe from your Christmas cookie exchange last year. Readers, make these tomorrow for health and happiness.

Soft Almond Cookies

1 cup sugar
1/2 cup softened butter
3/4 cup whole milk ricotta cheese
1 egg (the recipe says 1 LAND O LAKES All Natural Farm Fresh Egg. If you use their product your cookie will not only be delicious but calorie free.)
1 teaspoon almond extract
1 1/4 cups flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt

Glaze
1 cup powdered sugar
1/4 teaspoon almond extract
1-2 tablespoons milk

Heat oven to 350. Combine sugar and butter in a large bowl; beat at medium speed until creamy. Add ricotta cheese, egg, and 1 tsp. almond extract, continue beating until well mixed. Reduce speed to low; gradually add flour, baking powder, and salt, beating well after each addition. Drop dough by rounded teaspoonfuls, 2 inches apart, onto ungreased cookie sheets. Bake for 10-12 minutes (my oven takes about 14) or until lightly browned . Cool on cookie sheet 2 minutes (LONGER!); remove to cooling rack.

Combine powdered sugar, 1/4 teaspoon almond extract and enough milk for desired glazing consistency in small bowl; mix well. Spoon onto completely cooled cookie. Decorate with sprinkles if desired.

Send testimonies of these cookie's life changing properties to my comments section.

Aug. 5, 2000

That my friends was when Greg and I got married. This is what today looked like:

9-Number of years married

3-Number of precious babies I made mac and cheese dinner for

5-Time our baby-sitter showed up for our hot date

4000-Calories consumed at Outback dinner

2-Books bought at Barnes and Noble

3-Magazines bought at Barnes and Noble (thanks Mom and Dad!)

1,756,289-Tears cried while watching the movie "Up".

5,6,7,8,9, and 10-The hours Greg and I held hands

Infinite-The number of blessings we have



(Go give Angela and Justin some love too. They celebrated 9 years of marriage today too!)

The funniest post that never happened

This evening Greg and I had a hilarious conversation with a PG-13 rating.

You know your husband is into your blog when the first thing he says after a hilarious conversation is, "You should put this on your blog!" Then we had a good laugh about how far would Sara go to exploit her family for ten extra hits a day. I may have also said that I didn't want my blog to go from family friendly to mature audience only in one post.

But I did it anyway. I typed up the whole hilarious conversation but when it came time to publish it I just couldn't do it. I mean, our parents read this for heaven's sake!! (Sorry parents, but I know you do.) And while having three children makes certain assumptions about ones relationship I'm not ready to jest about them in front of parents and a public public.

So I deleted the whole hilarious conversation and posted this instead. I'd be very disappointed if I were you.

Inspiration takes many forms

Today while power washing the deck I met one of these:



I stop, drop, rolled, and screamed while firing away at our guest with a hose. The kids wanted to help me but were too spellbound by the dang spider to be of any assistance. Instead, they were inspired to do this:

Glad I could oblige.

What's it worth to you?

Imagine if you will a man. A young man of 32. Who decides one fine Saturday to go water skiing for the first time in a year . A young man who spends Sunday moaning, pointing to all the spots on his back that need rubbed during church, claiming that the left booty cheek hurts more than the right, hobbling, chewing on Ibuprofen, and bemoaning how old he feels. He is a man who wants nothing more than to do nothing.


Skip forward a few hours. Greg and Sara (aka young man and smokin' hot wifey) have taken their family to the splash pad at the park because it's 100 degrees out. On this splash pad there is a bucket that fills and fills until it tips over and dumps water on the person below. Sara wonders out loud, "What would it take for you to stand under that bucket?" Greg, who is still a dim shadow of himself says, without hesitation, "I'd do it if I don't have to do anything once we get home."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing."


Sara ponders. "But the house is a mess. I don't want to do all of bedtime and house cleaning by myself."


Greg, showing his desperation says, " Fine. I'll clean the kitchen but nothing else."


"That's is? If I put the kids to bed you'll stand fully clothed under the bucket of freezing cold water torture?"

"Yep."


And he did. He even stood over the top of a huge sprayer afterward just to "sweeten the deal."

Desperate times call for desperate measures.
p.s. If you haven't, please read the post below and comment. I'd love to hear more responses!