As most of you know, I am an oldest child. After getting my hands on "The Birth Order Book" by Kevin Leman (RECOMMEND) I am secure in the fact that I scream oldest child. One of the hallmarks of us first kiddos is perfectionism. Or frustrated perfectionism. Or, I'm a perfectionist but don't know it so I slip into anti-perfectionism. Okay, it makes sense if you read the book. Anyways...
As I was reading the book I remember thinking, I don't think I am a perfectionist. I think I have reasonable expectations of myself. That is until I got to the part that said, and I quote, "You won't try new things because if you can't be perfect at it the first time why bother and we mean you Sara, like that one time you tried to hit golf balls at the driving range with Greg and it nearly destroyed your marriage."
This is my least favorite personal quality. It's true. If I don't think something will come easily to me or that it might be really really really hard then I don't even try. What's the point in doing something if you have to be an amateur?? (Please note sarcasm.) This prevents me from trying new things because I hate the learning curve. I don't like being on the curve, I want to set the curve.
Which is how I've been feeling about this new camera idea. I really do want one. A nice one. But I won't know how to use it at first. And I'll take bad pictures. And the terms will be new. And the lighting will be wrong. And it'll be hard for a while and nobody will ask me to photograph their wedding.
I'm turning over a new leaf though and am starting with this camera. And now here's my question for you. What characteristic about yourself don't you like and have you ever actively tried to change it? Let's have another fun discussion!
p.s. If you must know, Greg is not like this. He enjoys the journey and is rarely frustrated with the process. He's learning the guitar and his attitude and work ethic is inspiring. His example is my motivation.
p.p.s. Apparently getting someone to redo your blog takes years. At least the people I know.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Perfectionism's evil cousin
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3 comments:
Oh that's easy, can we only pick one thing? Well, I am what you call a "know it all!". :) Yep, the worst. I know it all just ask me and I will tell you and sometimes you don't even have to ask and I will tell you:) Now, in my defense this is indeed genetic. My fiesty Italian Grandma is 100% worse than me. I guess that is why motherhood has been good and humbling for me, just when I ever so smuggly have something figured out...BAM it changes and I am knocked back on my rear. My other poor quailty is that I LOVE gossip. oh my I love it, know any? :)
Like Angela it's hard to pick only one. First of all I'm an incurable "one-upper". If you have a good story, I have a far better one.
The other are my O.C.D. tendencies. I know those of you who have been in my house would never dream it because it is always in a state of perpetual chaos and clutter. BUT, there are things that are ALWAYS in their place, REALLY random things. Most involve my toys and I do mean my toys. I may let the kids play with them but trust me, they are all mine. I have two dollhouses that can put me into an apoplectic seizure if everything is not in it's place when they're not being played with. I want the grandma in the rocking chair rocking the baby. I want the cat midway up the stairs with the dog looking up at it from the bottom. Car seats must be in the vans, people must be sitting around the kitchen table and don't even get me started on the rest of the furniture, I nearly need a tape measure to make sure they're where they are supposed to be. And that's just ONE of the dollhouses. I still can hardly sleep at night because a small, small lime green pillow is missing from the double bed. Where could it be???? I've looked everywhere. I'm sure one of my thieving kids got it home with them. And to my distress I am missing TWO plates, one big and one small, from my play kitchen. I've incurred deep stress over this situation.
And Wayne likes to torture me because another obsession is our bowls in the cupboard. I have six of those soup bowls with the handles on them, in 3 colors, 2 apiece of course. Wayne will haphazardly stack them anyway that they come out of the dishwasher so when I open the cupboard I have to do Lamaze breathing when I see them cuddled together wrong. The bottom row must have 3 different colors as does the top. HOWEVER, and this is huge, they must NOT be the same color on the same color but of course I'm sure you all get that.
Now explain to me why my bedroom looks like a storage room with clutter on my dresser reaching the ceiling (I'm always afraid I'll smell a decaying body under there some time and not be able to find it). My closet is nearly unusable because you take your life into your own hands by opening it as something WILL drop on your head. I always hope for something marginally soft. There are dust bunnies under my bed that look menacing and there is so much dust in there I have to wear a surgical mask to bed so I don't have to be hooked to my inhaler all night. And I have considered just buying a yellow toilet bowl since that's it typical color any more anyway. But heaven forbid the rugs get mixed up in my wooden doll house.
I am definitely a freak of nature.
Joining this conversation late.....I think I could have writen this post. Even the golf bit. Went once, barely survived. Really...why try something if you aren't going to be good at it? I actually get terribly embarrased when I am not good at something. Also, following Angela, I am a "know it all," FOR SURE! And last but not least, following Jules, I too am a "one upper." That's right....I have ALL these not so flattering tendancies you all mentioned and I really can't disern which one I am the worst at. Anyway, every once in a while I get out of hand and take a step back for a time to reflect and work on these lasting issues of mine. :) But hey, that's me, and luckily Brian, my family and friends love me anyway and allow me to try and better myself by leading by example.
In regards to cameras......I just got a brand new camera and am hoping to jump on the photography bandwagon/hobbie. I replied to your question on my blog, but thought I would also post the link to the camera I just got here too so you could check it out....
http://www.amazon.com/Canon-Digital-Camera-18-55mm-3-5-5-6/dp/B0012YA85A/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=photo&qid=1250270017&sr=1-1
And this is the extra lens I ordered as well....
http://www.amazon.com/Canon-85mm-Medium-Telephoto-Cameras/dp/B00007GQLU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=photo&qid=1250270058&sr=1-1
The good news is, they sell a "For Dummies" book....
http://www.amazon.com/Canon-Digital-Rebel-Dummies-Computer/dp/0470385375/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1250270147&sr=8-1
I have had the camera a few days and am learning SOOOOO much. Good Luck!!
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